First of all I work for the tech support side of directv. I will give you all a bunch of insite as to how customer service and tech support works. First when you call us just hit 0 a bunch of times or say representative and you will get someone on the phone. Now I cant say which department you will get and it may not be the right one. So you may be transfered. When you get to tech support if thats who you need please stay calm as we are just receiving your call and have no clue whats going on. Once we know the situation and read over the notes left on your account we can help you. Always get the person name and id number and date and time you spoke with that person. Second, if you want a service call but dont want to ts with us just say something like its all tvs in the home and nothing is blocking the dish and my dish is on the roof and I cant get up there. That will trigger an auto service call as long as you dont have bad weather in your area. Now if its a box you seek to replace. Just say it refuses to turn on and go along with the so called trouble shooting for a few minutes and still say no it wont come on and that will trigger a replacement for you. If you want a new remote then just say the buttons are worn so much you cant see the numbers or the battery comparemnt is broken off due to wear and tear. This again will require no ts what so ever. Now that you know the steps to get what you want please stop yelling and screaming at us as we are rquired to keep our calls under 10 min from beginnig to end. The longer you keep us on the phone we start to get snippy. Have a great day!